dont understand
by the3things
Summary: look. i know this isn't what she felt. but it's how i felt about someone. it'd be cool if you read it maybe reviewed it to but...no flames if you review.


It's what I'm feeling. I'm letting it out. If you care to read continue. I don't really care if you review or not. I just needed to let it out of me.

* * *

Is it really my fault?

Were we really a mistake?

I don't understand. Please tell me. You said you don't want to wait for me. You said you're done. Please tell me why? Why does it have to be this way.

You promised you would never break my heart. You promised.

You said I was beautiful. You said I was perfect. You said you loved me.

Now you say you don't want to have emotions for me. None at all. You said that you'll hate me.

Please tell me why?

You don't want to wait for me.

I really don't understand. You said I can't have everything without giving something back. You hurt me, and you… You wanted me to hurt.

I thought you were different. I thought you wouldn't do this to me.

I thought I had found someone that would love me.

You changed your mind. I don't know why..

I sound like a crying baby. I might as well be that.

Why did you leave me? Why.

Please don't say it's the end. I can't let go.

You don't understand. You were the only person that I felt accepted with.

I'm the book nerd. The loser. The emo kid always resorting to a corner.

I want to be myself. That's all I want. I was never myself anywhere, and with you I got to experience putting down the façade. There was no need to impress because you didn't mind who I was.

It felt so good. So, so good. I didn't know that was what it is like to not worry about people and their thoughts. People, and their opinions.

I told you everything. I trusted you. Only yesterday you said I have to trust you. You forgot to add the "break your heart" part.

What do I do now?

I'm usually not the kind of girl that's lost or looking for direction. I'm smarter than this.

I know my thoughts seem jumbled up and unclear, but this is how I feel. I'm letting it all out. So bear with me.

You're friends always hated me, they thought I wasn't good for you. Sometimes what they said made so much sense. But now, now you agree with them. Now you think I'm a mistake.

Did you honestly think I didn't know that? Did you really think that I loved who I was? I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate my voice. I hate the way I look, and I can't even try to be anyone else.

Was it really my life that you had to come and ruin?

My heart is broken beyond repair, and the worst part is.. You are proudly responsible for it.

There is only one place left that I truly belong in. Take a journey to my living room you'll find it there.

Ahh, yes. My piano. My escape. My refuge. The piano understands my feelings. It knows, it cares. It hears and it comforts. I'm not playing the piano. But the piano is playing through me. Almost like we share stories.

Most people wonder what the dog saw. I wonder what the piano felt.

It is the greatest witness. It's my best friend.

And you know what? You can't take it away from me. The piano is not just a instrument. It's part of who I am. I admire anyone with a passion to play piano because I know they love it.

I loved you.

I still love you.

But I hate one-sided loves. I'm smarter than that. By the way. If you haven't realized. This is my anger stage.

And I am mad. I am mad at you for lying to me. I'm mad at the world for deceiving me. I'm made at the people I see because they frown at my presence.

But who is it that I am mad at the most? Myself. I got myself into this, and I used to want you to get me out.

I learn lessons quickly. Because no matter who I love, who I know, who is my friend, or who is my enemy… In the end I only have one person.

Myself. I only have me. So I'm going to take care of myself.

Look. I don't know what's going to happen know. I don't know who is going to stumble into our lives as we go on.

I just hope you are happy, and I sincerely mean that.

Everyone deserves to be happy, even you. That is all that I hope for you.

As for me, well I'm working on it. But…um.

For now…

* * *

Yea, yea. Don't give me crap about the incoherence of it. I know you're like. Wow that was terrible. But that's what I felt. And I had to get it out otherwise I wouldn't stop crying. It makes little sense. But just imagine it as him leaving her.

I'm sorry if you found that bad annoying or stupid. I personally don't like it myself. But. I'm sorry I had to let it go. I couldn't keep it bottled in me.

-.~ Rain


End file.
